


Little Harley In Slumberland

by dogtier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Narcolepsy, Somnophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 14:14:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/394751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtier/pseuds/dogtier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade and Dave decide to stop letting narcolepsy get in the way of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Harley In Slumberland

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://homesmut.livejournal.com/17313.html?thread=35313569#t35313569) on the Homesmut kink meme. 
> 
> Contains consensual somnophilia, aka sex with one person asleep. If that makes you uncomfortable this fic probably isn't for you.

Things were going perfectly for once. Jade's fingers were clenched in his hair and she was panting, too incoherent to even moan his name anymore. Dave crooked his fingers inside her, trying to find that spot she had shown him before as he continued to suck on her clit. When he located it she let out a strangled cry, hitching a leg up over his shoulder to hold him in place while her hips jerked up into his touch. His own hips were rubbing against the bed, trying to get some friction against the mattress since his hands were busy. Jade was so close, her fingers were tightening and god he wanted her to come so badly. 

"Da-" she cried, fingers yanking his hair to the point of pain before letting go. 

Instead of the thrashing orgasm he was expecting she suddenly slumped, leg becoming dead weight on top of him, hips stilling. He pulled back carefully and looked up at her. She was fast asleep.

"You have to be fucking kidding me," he said. Jade didn't respond. 

Fuck narcolepsy. Fuck it right in the face. 

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and crawled up to lay next to her. She rolled to her side away from him and began snoring. He looked down at his cock, which was still suffering from the delusion that it was going to be getting some. Stupid thing. Dave pulled the blankets up around Jade and headed to the bathroom. He couldn't jerk off in the same room as Jade when she was passed out. He wasn't a creep. 

After finishing a quick, uninspired masturbation session he washed up and pulled on some boxers before heading out to the living room. There was nothing like television to dull the pain of sexual frustration. 

He was halfway through an episode of SVU about a girl getting raped at a frat party when Jade came stumbling out of the bedroom. 

"Hey," she said.

"Sup," he responded. 

"Sorry," she said. 

"No biggie," he said. 

She came over and curled against him on the couch. He pulled the knitted afghan Rose had made off the back to drape over her. No reason to let the little nudist get cold. 

"I don't remember it happening," the girl on the television said through her tears. "I was asleep. Who would do that to a person who was asleep?" 

Dave shifted uncomfortably.

"Dave," Jade said softly. 

"Yeah?" Dave answered through the lump in his throat.

"It would be okay," she said. "You know, I would be okay with you doing it when I was asleep. I mean, it's pretty unfair to you."

"Unfair?" he said. "You think I find it unfair?"

"No," Jade said. "I know you don't. You're too gallant to think that."

"Right," Dave said, rolling his eyes. "Dave the gallant knight."

"Yep," Jade said, giggling a little. "On a dashing horse and everything. With your pretty red cape and track pants."

"Don't knock the pants."

"Oh, I'll knock the pants," she said, sitting up. The afghan slipped down from her shoulders and she slid into his lap, breasts pressing against his bare chest. 

"This is totally cheating," he told her. 

"Cheating?" she teased, kissing his neck. 

"Totally," he said. 

"Well, sometimes a girl has to cheat," she said, kissing his jaw. "I do have needs. And it's your duty as a knight to fulfill them."

"I'm trying," he said, arching his neck so she could reach the spot right beneath his ear. 

"Try harder," she said. "Don't stop just because I take a nap."

"I'm not a creep."

"I know you're not," she said. "Just think of me as Snow White."

"Not helpful, that prince was a total creep." 

Jade took his head in her hands and turned him to look right in her eyes. 

"See, totally gallant," she said right before kissing him on the lips. 

He sighed into the kiss and she pulled away, hopping to her feet and grinning. 

"Now stop being so gloomy and make me my dinner," she said. 

"Yes, your majesty." 

\----

"I'm home," Dave called, dropping his keys on the table and kicking his shoes off. Jade didn't answer. There was no note on the fridge saying she had gone out, so he quietly headed to the bedroom. Sure enough she was passed out on the bed, her Squiddles comics strewn around her. 

"Earth to Jade," he tried, poking her side. No response. 

He gathered up her comics and set the neatly on the dresser. She hated when she ruined them by drooling in her sleep. He took her glasses off and set the aside as well. She was so darn cute, she was wearing one of her Anthrocon shirts and a stolen pair of boxers. Occasionally her fuzzy ears would twitch at some happening in dreamland. 

Dave stripped out of his work clothes. Ironically douchey suits looked great but had way too many layers for how hot Miss Jungle Girl kept their apartment. He left Jade slumbering and had a beer. When she woke up they could have dinner. He had a second beer, then a third, and popped the cap from a forth before he went to check on Jade. Still completely dead to the world it seemed. Her hair had fallen in her face and some of it was stuck to her lips so he gently pushed it back. He gave her ear a quick scritch for good measure. 

God he wished she would wake up. He had been dealing with producers all day and could use a little relaxation. The beer was just not cutting it. She shifted in her sleep, back arching and making her tits bounce. It was awfully tempting. 

He stood over her, taking the occasional sip and contemplating. She had give him permission, hadn't she? Maybe if he just didn't touch it wouldn't make him that much of a creep. It would be like jerking off to her photograph. He'd done that plenty of times on business trips. 

Conscience reassured he took one more swig of his beer before setting it aside and stripping out of the rest of his clothes. His hand was still cold as he wrapped it around his half hard cock. He watched the rise and fall of Jade's chest as he worked himself to full hardness. Her shirt was riding up slightly, exposing a stripe of smooth, tan skin. It wouldn't hurt to just reach out and touch a little, right? 

Dave stroked Jade's stomach nervously. She sighed in her sleep but didn't awake. He figured, since he was already there, surely there was no harm in just pushing her shirt up. Jade had said it was okay after all. He slid his fingers under the hem and lifted only to find a piece of paper stuck to her skin. He blinked and let go of himself for a second so he could unfold it to see what it said. 

In Jade's curly handwriting it read: at least touch my tits dumbass! :P

Well, if she insisted. 

Emboldened, he used both hands to shove Jade's shirt up to her neck and exposed her breasts. She wasn't wearing a bra, clearly having foreseen these events. It made him feel better about how he straddled her hips and used his free hand to play with her nipple while going back to stroking himself. He was slightly buzzed and her skin was so nice. As he thrust into his hand he shook her a bit, making her tits bounce enticingly. He spit in his hand and slicked his shaft while working up the nerve to shift further up her stomach. Her skin was sweaty as he pushed her tits together and slid between them. 

Oh, he was such a creep. A total, complete creep, but it didn't stop him from coming all over her. 

He slumped over to the side, panting against her neck as he laid there. Pearl necklace was kind of a good look for her but honestly everything was a good look for her. Even those damn fursuits. She was beautiful and he loved her. He made a mental note to give her all kind of orgasms when she woke up. 

\-----

"Daaaaave," Jade called. 

"Jaaaaaaade," he responded. "I'm coooooking."

"I can seeeeeee that," she said, bouncing into the kitchen and hopping onto one of the stools next to him like it was morning rather than past nine at night. She was grinning. 

"Whaaaaa- okay, this is stupid. What is it?" he asked. 

"Did you have fun?" she asked. 

"At work?"

"Don't play dumb," she said, reaching out and pinching his leg with her toes. 

"I have no idea what you could be referring to," he said. 

"Oh really?" she said. "Geez, I must have imagined you missing a spot during your clean up. But I guess we could be haunted by a horny ghost that can't keep his ectoplasm off my boobs."

"A horny ghost? That's more John's territory than mine."

"Dave, don't change the subject," she said. "I told you it was okay. Why do you have a such hard time believing that?" 

"I dunno," he admitted, shrugging. "Just feels weird."

"Would it make it less weird if we filmed it?" 

Dave turned to look at her. 

"When has filming something ever made it less weird? Have you been talking to Bro?" he asked. 

"What, no. Okay, a little, but never mind that," she said, reaching out and taking his hand. "Confession time: I find the idea of you fucking me when I'm asleep kind of hot, and I'd like you to be into it too."

"Okay," he said cautiously. "But filming?"

"So I can watch it," she explained. 

"Oh," he said. "This just seems like asking for trouble. What if someone else saw the tapes and got the wrong idea?"

"You're a big Hollywood director, you're suppose to be into weird sex shit." 

"You always say that."

"And it's always worked," she said, grinning. "Speaking of which, at the next swingers' night do you want to be a cat again? You might make a good fox as well."

"One deviant sex act at a time, Harley. Geez, a man has limits." 

"Spoilsport," she said. "And I'm pretty sure you've boiled that pasta into submission by now."

"Shit!" he said, yanking the pot from the stove as Jade laughed at him.

"Chinese tonight?" she asked.

"Get extra egg rolls," he said, dumping the soggy mess of falling apart ravioli into the sink. 

"Understood," she said, heading to the bedroom to get her cell. 

"And Jade?"

"Yes?"

"Yeah, I had fun," he confessed, cheeks burning. 

"I'll set the camera up." 

\-----

Things were going better than usual. Dave managed to help Jade rub one out on the couch before she conked out halfway to the bedroom. She had set up the camera while they waited for the beleaguered delivery guy who had been tempted into coming out half an hour past the usual cut off time for the promise of a big tip and an autograph. 

The camera's light blinked at Dave accusingly. 

"You don't know me," he told the electronic firmly. There was no response, of course. 

He sighed and flipped it on, focusing it on the bed where Jade laid half dressed. It was now or never. He briefly considered putting on some ironic mood music but this was for Jade and he was already being the guy girls were warned about by their mothers or aggressive lesbian high school gym teachers. But Jade never had either of those. That was probably how they had ended up like this. He was losing his train of thought, that probably meant he should stop it and strip. 

Dave checked the camera one more time before pulling his shirt over his head and kicking his boxers off. He really should have gone with Jade on vacation and gotten a tan, his pasty ass was going to look doubly pasty on film. 

"Take one," he said, giving the camera a thumbs up before crawling onto the bed. 

Jade was limp and compliant as Dave pulled her shirt and panties off. He admired how lovely she was, even in the crappy track lighting. It had seemed hilarious when he had it installed but now he wished he had gone with something nicer. He leaned down and kissed Jade's toned stomach, nuzzling lower and lower through her thick bush. She was worked up and wet from earlier but he slipped two fingers inside along with his tongue just to make sure. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. She tasted great, creamy and musky and was warm and tight, but not too tight. He pulled away and moved into position. 

He sat there for a minute or so, rubbing the head of his cock against her and trying to work up the nerve. She was so peaceful in her sleep. He glanced over at the camera and bit his lip. She wanted this, he reminded himself. It was okay, she wanted it. 

Sliding in was a bit difficult, he kept readjusting her legs, ending up with them pulled over his bended knees, her hips tilted off the bed so that he was pressing down into her. It wasn't the most elegant position, but their was no karma sutra for narcoleptics. But once he was in? Oh god. They hadn't actually gotten to home plate that often in the past. Between them both traveling all the time and Jade's impromptu naptimes he could count on his fingers the number of times cock had made it into pussy. It had probably been months since the last attempt. He stilled deep inside her, trying to hold on. He didn't want this to be over, especially with Jade planning on watching the tape. It was about to be the world's shortest porn if he didn't get a grip. 

Dave tried to pull up the least sexy images he could in his mind, but at that point even smuppets seemed appealing. Lil' Cal fucking a smuppet though? That did the trick. 

Once he was sure he could move without embarrassing himself Dave got to work. He shifted slightly on the bed, aware of the angle of the camera. He was careful not to block it with his body as he slid in and out of Jade slowly and steadily. It wasn't like the previous times they had gotten this far. Then Jade had been awake and able to wrap her legs around him, clenching her muscles around his cock and begging for more. The memories made him speed up, thrusting a bit roughly. She liked it when he was rough. He drove into her, moving them up the bed with the intensity of it. Fuck she was so good, he never wanted to fuck anyone else, he just wanted to stay here inside her forever. 

But all good things had to end and there came a point where he just couldn't hold out any longer. He tried to sound as cool as possible when he came, no gross grunting like an animal for him. He totally failed, groaning and whimpering as his cock jerked and he spilled inside her. As he pulled out he wondered if he should have done it earlier. Maybe Jade would have preferred being able to see him come across her skin. Well, there was always next time. 

He switched off the camera, a bit worried that he was already anticipating the next time he could do this. He got a cloth and cleaned Jade off best he could before tucking her in and curling up beside her. 

Sleep came surprisingly easily.

\-----

Jade was actually up before him for once. He was forced to the waking world by the sounds of her excited squeals.

"Oh my god, you did it," she was saying, looking at the little replay screen of the camera. "Wait, wait, we should get this on the big screen. I can hardly make anything out on here. I thought my pussy felt sticky when I woke up." 

"Jade, you are the sickest girl I know," Dave told her.

"You love me for it," she said, confident and proud. 

"Absolutely," he said. She came over and climbed into his lap to kiss him. 

"I really think you'll make a great fox," she told him.

"Only it you get a really nice buttplug." 

"Best boytoy ever."


End file.
